My friend Pat shed her earthly body Sunday a week ago.

Our bodies are a temporary dwelling, like a pitched tent, moveable within a lifetime.

The body is empty without the soul.

Pat’s family gave me the opportunity and privilege to speak at her funeral, to say something personal about her life and our friendship.

From the dictionary––eulogy: a commendatory oration or writing especially in honor of one deceased

The origin of eulogy, “its basic meaning, both in English and in the Greek language from which it was borrowed, is ‘praise.’ Formed from the Greek roots eu ‘good’ and logos [word], ‘a speech … in the dead person's honor.’

How, I asked myself, do I pull a few threads from the tapestry of mine and Pat’s friendship?

Years ago, when my husband and I moved from Pampa to Dallas, at that time, I wrote a blog about Pat’s friendship of more than 20 years.

So what I wrote back then on a different website provider, titled “My Friend Pat,” has since disappeared into the ether.

Like so many of our memories and pictures, we think we will remember.

Fast Forward

Now, as I look back on the 43 years of mine and Pat’s friendship, our friendship grew deeper as the circle of her life kept extending, including so many more lives touched by hers.

Once Pat gave her heart to Jesus at age 10, her commitment to God set the trajectory for the rest of her life.

In my tribute, I used the word “steadfast” to describe Pat.

Steadfast^ noun: immoveable, steady, fixed.

The word steadfast appears 219 times in the ESV (English Standard Version), and of those 219, 202 times it’s used as an adjective to modify love.

“Steadfast love,” describes an attribute of God.

So by being steadfast, someone I could count on, Pat showed me what God was like. She showed me what it looked like to trust God and how to exercise my faith in Jesus Christ.

Pat embodied in her temporary dwelling steadfast love and wholehearted devotion to Jesus.

Pat epitomized authenticity because throughout her life she remained steadfast.

“Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.” 1 Corinthians 15:58, KJV

Looking in the Rearview Mirror

Pat loved to recount her personal history, reflect on her heritage as a rancher’s daughter, wife of Gray County Judge Carl Kennedy when she and I first became friends, and mother to her five children, including twins––all born within six years.

She loved her heritage and protected her legacy.

I had listened to Pat tell stories. I wanted to know how she became who she was. Pat wanted people to know her story.

She asked me to record our conversation. Listen to her speak about her early life:

Friendship is a Sheltering Tree

“Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.

2 But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.

3 And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.”

— Psalm 1:1–3

I wish I had said these words about Pat at her memorial service. Words that point to the life she lived, the life she shared with each of us. Sheltering words.

In speaking, I referred to Pat’s friendship as a “sheltering tree” (reference from a poem by Samuel Taylor Coleridge).

The Texas Panhandle is not known for its trees. Yet each time I visited Pat in Pampa, as soon as I hit the city limits, I could picture my friend Pat, steadfast, planted where she was, like a shade tree. Her friendship drew me back to the shelter of our friendship.

Clouds of Grief

Pat’s family knew, and I knew too, that she would be leaving us soon. Pat’s departure was like waiting on a train platform, or waiting to depart on a flight where the sign at the airport keeps changing departure times. A long goodbye.

But that doesn’t mean we would ever be ready to go on without her, even though Jesus assures us we will see her again.

So in the time before her departure, we each one tried to prepare ourselves, thinking we had said what needed to be said. We think we have asked all the questions . . . had the important conversations . . . spoken comforting words from the heart.

Then what is this feeling that keeps churning, a desire for more time and for more words, life-giving words to close these chapters in Pat’s story?

Pat and I repeated the words from Psalm 139.

“. . . all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be (v16).”

Interpreted, Pat and I took these words to mean that the day of our departure is as set and certain as the day of our birth.

I cannot verify the meaning of this or any other verse in the Bible. But I can believe the words apply to me and to all those who by faith believe God gave us His Word to live by.

The just shall live by faith.

Aspiring to Become

While teaching in Bible Study Fellowship, one of the principles from scripture I shared:

What you focus on is what you become.

The apostle Paul wrote to the Corinthians, “But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord” 2 Corinthians 3:18.

“Nearness to God brings likeness to God. The more you see God the more of God will be seen in you.”

— CHARLES SPURGEON

Beholding and Becoming. A process. A relationship. A commitment.

Remembering my friend Pat, she was a role model in so many ways.

Pat repeatedly said, “To see God in everything is life’s greatest adventure.”

Focused on how she lived her life as a Christian, she helped me aspire to become:

A better friend

A better person

A better Christ-follower

“To see God in everything is life’s greatest adventure.”